SENIORS, GETTING OLD OR WHAT?
By Dr. Hoyt W.
Allen, Jr.
1) Aging is that
time when eventually
you reach a point
that you stop lying
about your age and
start bragging about
it.
2) You know you are
getting old when
everything either
dries up or leaks.
3) A distraught
senior citizen
phoned her doctor's
office. "Is it
true," she wanted to
know, "that the
medication you
prescribed has to be
taken for the rest
of my life?" "Yes,
I'm afraid so," the
doctor told her.
There was a moment
of silence before
the senior lady
replied, "I'm
wondering, then,
just how serious is
my condition because
this prescription is
marked 'No
Refills'."
4) An older Jewish
gentleman was on the
operating table
awaiting surgery and
he insisted that his
son, a renowned
surgeon, perform the
operation. As he was
about to get the
anesthesia he asked
to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is
it?" "Don't be
nervous, son; do
your best and just
remember, if it
doesn't go well, if
something happens to
me your mother is
going to come and
live with you and
your wife...."
5) The older we get,
the fewer things
seem worth waiting
in line for so some
people try to turn
back their
odometers. Not me, I
want people to know
"why" I look this
way. I've traveled a
long way and some of
the roads weren't
paved.
6) How old would you
be if you didn't
know how old you
are?
7) When you are
dissatisfied and
would like to go
back to youth, think
of Algebra.
8) I don't know how
I got over the hill
without getting to
the top.
9) One of the many
things no one tells
you about aging is
that it is such a
nice change from
being young.
10) Ah, being young
is beautiful, but
being old is
comfortable.
(Continued)
(Continued)
11) Old age is when
former classmates
are so gray and
wrinkled and bald,
they don't recognize
you.
12) If you don't
learn to laugh at
trouble, you won't
have anything to
laugh at when you
are old. First you
forget names, then
you forget faces.
Then you forget to
pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you
forget to pull it
down.
13) Long ago when
men cursed and beat
the ground with
sticks, it was
called witchcraft.
Today, it's called
golf.
14) The 11:00 PM
News is not nearly
as important as it
used to be.
15) Two women met
for the first time
since graduating
from high school.
One asked the other,
"You were always so
organized in school,
Did you manage to
live a well planned
life? " " Yes," said
her friend. "My
first marriage was
to a millionaire; my
second marriage was
to an actor; my
third marriage was
to a preacher; and
now I'm married to
an undertaker." Her
friend asked, "What
do those marriages
have to do with a
well planned life?"
"One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
and four to go.
If you have any life
left in you at all
and you have not
become a Christian
and living daily for
the Lord Jesus and
allowing him to be
the Lord of your
life, then you had
better get busy and
do your part and
turn your life over
to Him. That is -
the sooner, the
better.
Plainly, don’t get
short changed. Let’s
be ready to meet our
Maker. The Bible (in
Acts) teaches that
to avoid hell and
gain heaven - one
must:
1) Believe In Jesus
As Savior (16:31) 2)
Repent Of Sins
(17:30)
3) Confess Christ
Audibly (8:37) 4) Be
Baptized In Water
(2:38)
5) Live A Christian
Life (14:22) 6) Be
Active In the Church
(2:47)
KYOWVA Evangelistic
Association
1541 S. 7th Street *
Ironton, OH 45638
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www.kyowva.com
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