These are actual statements found on insurance forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible:

 

1) I saw a slow-moving sad-faced old gentleman, as he bounded off the roof of my car.

2) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house, and collided with a tree I don't have.

3) The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

4) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

5) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

6) The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
7) I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

9) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

10) I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

11) As I approached the intersection, a signal appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

12) The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy with a big mouth.

13) I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

14) The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the pedestrian.

15) An invisible car came out of nowhere and struck my car and vanished.

16) I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found I had a fractured skull.

 

KYOWVA Evangelistic Association

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