It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore, do not need a raise.

We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of a sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all of your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: January 1, May 30, July 4 and December 25.

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two week’s notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will

(continued)

-2-

follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with “A” will go from 8:00 AM to 8:20 AM. All employees whose name begins with “B” will go from 8:20 AM to 8:40 AM and so on. If you are unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again.

In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both employees and supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition there is a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract and the stall door will open.

Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Plump people get five minutes for lunch because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

The Management

Humor is always good for the soul. That is, the correct kind of humor. Of course many things are good for the soul. Probably one of the best things that we humans can due for our souls is to feed them spiritual food on a regular basis. This of course is food which comes from the Bible. One never goes wrong in reading God’s Word. However, like physical exercise, one must get on a schedule and then exercise discipline to stay on it. KYOWVA has several ways to help one stay on a schedule, if one contacts us. The ways are free too! Why not give us a buzz today? You will never regret getting “closer” to God who loves you and wants you to “walk with Him” today and in eternity.

Plainly, don’t get short changed. Let’s be ready to meet our Maker. The Bible teaches that to avoid hell and gain heaven - one must:

1) Believe In Jesus As Savior (Acts 16:31) 2) Repent Of Sins (Acts 17:30)

3) Confess Christ Audibly (Acts 8:37) 4) Be Baptized In Water (Acts 2:38)

5) Live A Christian Life (Acts 14:22) 6) Be Active In The Church (Acts 2:47)