The following article came to me recently and I contended that I should pass it on. It has been slightly edited and a conclusion added.

Doctor Stories:
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths,"
I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.
Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife
that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct . Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of “massive internal gas”.
Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions included removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

MINISTERS’ STORIES

The New Minister was visiting in the homes of his church members. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out card, wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. "Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."

(Continued)

A minister who had been up three nights in a row with some very seriously ill church members, plus with a couple who was just about ready to divorce and he had been attempting to help them to salvage their marriage. He was exhausted as he was following the funeral director in the hearse leading a funeral procession from the funeral parlor to the cemetery. Then, for no reason he smashed his accelerator to the floor and went to pass the hearse and then all at once he looked over at the funeral director who was glaring at him. The minister very humbly let off of his exccelerator and got back into line behind the hearse.

While a preacher was delivering a sermon while in a revival and his upper dentures flew out.. The host minister was setting on the front pew and laid down on the pew laughing. However, no one else saw the incident that will never be forgotten by two ministers.

The minister went to the funeral parlor and introduced himself as a new minister in town and that this would be his first funeral. This was a mistake as he did not know that the funeral director was a joker. When the funeral was about to begin the funeral director hid the minister’s Bible and funeral sermon. The young minister panicked. However, when he returned from searching his car his the Bible had mysteriously appeared.

Plainly, don’t get short changed. Let’s be ready to meet our Maker. The Bible teaches that to avoid hell and gain heaven - one must:

1) Believe In Jesus As Savior (Acts 16:31) 2) Repent Of Sins (Acts 17:30) 3) Confess Christ Audibly (Acts 8:37) 4) Be Baptized In Water (Acts 2:38) 5) Live A Christian Life (Acts 14:22) 6) Be Active In the Church (Acts 2:47)