RULES OF LIFE

By Dr. Hoyt W. Allen, Jr.

The following article came to me recently and I contended that I should pass it on. It has been slightly edited and a conclusion added.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are.....You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

And Finally. Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan...

No doubt, there are many rules to life. Some are more important than others. It is a real task attempting to determine which are the more important! Seriously, most of us have made a goodly number of mistakes in our lives. If we could start over – things would be different in many areas, wouldn’t they? Well, the “Good Book” (Bible) tells us that we can be forgiven and “Start Over” (Born Again - John 3:5).

Plainly, don’t get short changed. Let’s be ready to meet our Maker. The Bible (in Acts) teaches that to avoid hell and gain heaven - one must:

1) Believe In Jesus As Savior (16:31) 2) Repent Of Sins (17:30)
3) Confess Christ Audibly (8:37) 4) Be Baptized In Water (2:38)
5) Live A Christian Life (14:22) 6) Be Active In the Church (2:47)

KYOWVA Evangelistic Association * 1541 S. 7th Street * Ironton, OH 45638
Web Page: www.kyowva.com * Free Bible Courses Upon Request