RULES OF LIFE
By Dr. Hoyt W. Allen, Jr.
The following
article came to me
recently and I
contended that I
should pass it on.
It has been slightly
edited and a
conclusion added.
1. If you are
choking on an ice
cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down
your throat and
presto! The blockage
will be almost
instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid
cutting yourself
while slicing
vegetables by
getting someone else
to hold them while
you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments
with the Mrs. about
lifting the toilet
seat by simply using
the sink.
4. High blood
pressure sufferers:
simply cut yourself
and bleed for a
while, thus reducing
the pressure in your
veins.
5. A mouse trap,
placed on top of
your alarm clock,
will prevent you
from rolling over
and going back to
sleep when you hit
the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad
cough, take a large
dose of laxatives,
then you will be
afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth
ache? Hit your thumb
with a hammer, then
you will forget
about the tooth
ache.
Sometimes we Just
Need to Remember
What The Rules of
Life Really
Are.....You need
only two tools:
WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move
and it should, use
WD-40. If it moves
and shouldn't, use
the duct tape.
And Finally. Be
Really Good To Your
Family and Friends.
You never know when
you are going to
need them to empty
your bedpan...
No doubt, there are
many rules to life.
Some are more
important than
others. It is a real
task attempting to
determine which are
the more important!
Seriously, most of
us have made a
goodly number of
mistakes in our
lives. If we could
start over – things
would be different
in many areas,
wouldn’t they? Well,
the “Good Book”
(Bible) tells us
that we can be
forgiven and “Start
Over” (Born Again -
John 3:5).
Plainly, don’t
get short changed.
Let’s be ready to
meet our Maker. The
Bible (in Acts)
teaches that to
avoid hell and gain
heaven - one must:
1) Believe In Jesus
As Savior (16:31) 2)
Repent Of Sins
(17:30)
3) Confess Christ
Audibly (8:37) 4) Be
Baptized In Water
(2:38)
5) Live A Christian
Life (14:22) 6) Be
Active In the Church
(2:47)
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