"NOAH’S ARK, BUILDING PROBLEMS"
By Dr. Hoyt W. Allen, Jr.
Anyone who has been
involved in
constructing a
church building can
probably relate to
the article which
follows. Some
editing has been
done to the article
and some
modifications have
been made according
to the Scriptures.
It is the year 2001
and Noah lives in
the United States.
The Lord speaks to
Noah and says, “In
one year, I am going
to make it rain and
cover the whole
earth with water
until all is
destroyed. But I
want you to save the
righteous people and
two of every kind of
living thing on the
earth. Therefore, I
am commanding you to
build an Ark.”
In a flash of
lightning, God
delivered the
specifications for
an Ark. Fearful and
trembling, Noah took
the plans and agreed
to build an Ark.
“Remember,” said the
Lord, “You must
complete the Ark and
bring everything
aboard in one year.”
Exactly one year
later, a fierce
storm cloud covered
the earth and all
the seas of the
earth went into
chaos. The Lord saw
Noah sitting in his
front yard weeping.
“Noah,” He shouted,
“where is the Ark?”
“Lord, please
forgive me!” cried
Noah. “I did my
best, but there were
big problems.
1. First, I had to
get a permit for
construction, and
your plans did not
comply with the
codes. I had to hire
an engineering firm
and redraw
the plans.”
2. “Then I got into
a fight with OSHA
over whether or not
the Ark needed a
fire sprinkler
system and
floatation devices.”
3. “Then my neighbor
objected, claiming I
was violating zoning
ordinances by
building the Ark in
my front yard, so I
had to get a
variance from the
city planning
commission.
4. I had problems
getting enough wood
for the Ark, because
there was a ban on
cutting trees to
protect the Spotted
Owl. I finally
convinced the U.S.
Forest Service that
I needed the wood to
save the owls.
5. However, the Fish
and Wildlife Service
won’t let me catch
any owls. “So, no
owls.”
6. The carpenters
formed a union and
went out on strike.
I had to negotiate a
settlement with the
National Labor
Union. Now I have 16
carpenters on the
Ark, but still no
owls.
(Continued)
(Continued)
7. When I started
rounding up the
other animals, I got
sued by an animal
rights group. They
objected to my only
taking two of each
kind aboard.”
8. “Just when I got
the suit dismissed,
the EPA notified me
that I could not
complete the Ark
without filing an
environmental impact
statement on your
proposed flood. They
didn’t take very
kindly to the idea
that they had no
jurisdiction over
the conduct of the
Creator of the
Universe.”
9. “Then the Army
Corps of Engineers
demanded a map of
the proposed new
flood plan. I sent
them a globe.”
10. “Right now, I am
trying to resolve a
complaint filed with
the Equal Employment
Opportunity
Commission that I am
practicing
discrimination by
not taking godless,
unbelieving people
aboard!”
11. The IRS has
seized my assets,
claiming that I’m
building the Ark in
preparation to flee
the country to avoid
paying taxes.
12. I just got a
notice from the
state that I owe
them some kind of
user tax and failed
to register the Ark
as a “recreational
water craft.”
13. Finally, the
ACLU got the courts
to issue an
injunction against
further construction
of the Ark, saying
that since God is
flooding the earth,
it is a religious
event and therefore,
unconstitutional.
“I really don’t
think I can finish
the Ark for several
more years”, Noah
pleaded. Well, you
can read the “rest
of the story” found
in Genesis 6-9.
May we constantly be
thanking God the
Creator that things
turned out the way
that He directed. It
was not the way that
He desired, because
His will was and
still is that none
would perish, but
all would come to
repentance (II Peter
3:9).
May we understand
that if we do not
want to celebrate
the Lord's birth
(Christmas) or
resurrection
(Easter), on an
annual basis it is
not sinful, as there
is no exact
Scripture to do so.
However, may we not
condemn those who
choose to do so. But
- may we not "miss
the boat" by
celebrating a
non-commanded
celebration
(Christmas or
Easter) and neglect
commanded areas such
as: Baptism
(immersion in water,
for the forgiveness
of sins and the gift
of the Holy Spirit -
Acts 2:38);
Communion (every
Sunday - Acts 20:7);
and Godliness (Titus
2:12).
KYOWVA Evangelistic
Association
1541 S. 7th Street
Ironton, OH 45638
Web Page: kyowva.com * Email: kyowva@sbcglobal.net