“HOW MANY CHRISTIANS DOES IT TAKE
TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?”

By Dr. Hoyt W. Allen, Jr.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholics: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, & three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the salad.

Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to get it accomplished.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review the church lighting policy.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your life is bright, dull or completely out, you are loved--you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday on August 19. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

KYOWVA Evangelistic Association
1541 S. 7th Street * Ironton, OH 45638
Web Page: kyowva.com * Email: kyowva@sbcglobal.net
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